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“I feel tumblr people will be the best parents. Ever.”


(via i-peed-so-hard-i-laughed)

Kid:Yeah give me a pack of Marlboro Reds.
Cashier:Are you 18?
Kid:It's okay, they're a metaphor.



literally buy me a cat and i will seriously do anything you ask me to


this website is so fucked up

(via i-peed-so-hard-i-laughed)


my friend richie was really angry one time and he picked up a rock and threw it angrily at the ground but it actually didnt touch the ground it went straight into a gutter so he literally threw a rock at the ground and missed

(via i-peed-so-hard-i-laughed)


when i was 14 my teacher made fun of my pimples in front of the whole class and my best friend was furious so whenever she saw the teacher she’s like “OH YOU GET NEW CRINKLES TODAY” “DID YOU LOSE WEIGHT COS APPARENTLY YOU DIDN’T” “HEY MA’AM IS THAT YOUR BUTT OR IS THAT YOUR BELLY THEY LOOK THE SAME” she got detention almost everyday even i told her to stop she still did it anyway if you dont know what golden friendship is this is

(via billybaecyrus)


i hate it when flies fucking rub their stupid little shitty hands together like they’re plotting to ruin my life those tiny little bastards

(Source: rhydonmyhardon, via foodless)

When the TFIOS film comes out there are going to be two types of people watching it

Type 1:People that have read the book, and have spent days preparing themselves by repeating the mantra 'conceal don't feel'.
Type 2:People that think it's just another love story with a twist, and come out of the cinema shell shocked, and feeling like their hearts have been ripped out of their chests.



"hey don’t you have a crush on…"


that gif is perfectly looped wtf

(via heatingpad)

None of this would have happened if we weren’t genuine friends. We wouldn’t have had anywhere bear the success we’ve had, because people would be able to spot if we didn’t get along.”

(Source: sstyls, via softssound)




Reblog for the last one

it’s a game show where everyone eats the furniture in a room and tries to see which is made of chocolate

So basically you’re telling me this is the best fucking game ever created

(Source: iraffiruse, via shut-uhp)

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