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white girls

(Source: joeydeangelis, via fake-mermaid)



a guy walked into the board room and said

"hi sweetheart if you could fix me up a coffee real quick im meeting with the regional reports manager in like five minutes, thanks darling"

and i just stared at him and coldly said

"i am the regional reports manager"

we are now twenty minutes into this board meeting and i dont think i’ve ever seen a man look so embarrassed and afraid in my whole life


(Source: sofiajonze, via foodless)


If you ever feel awkward about something you said please remember that one time I was in a bar and I heard some guys excitedly talk about BJ’s and I thought it meant “bungee jumping” so I bounced up to them and told them how much I wanted to do that once and it was only afterwards I understood why they kept buying me drinks

(via angrybroccoli)


life is hard when you’re an ugly girl that likes cute boys

(Source: lickme-like-a-loli, via velvetteen-rabbit)





how do astronauts say they’re sorry?

they apollo-gize!!

We dont apologize.

we are perfect.

nasa i know of at least 2 exploded spaceships that beg to differ

(Source: frightscrest, via angrybroccoli)


i want to be rebellious but i dont want to get in trouble  

(via sniffing)

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